I still talk to my son
He's been gone two years. I still talk to him every night before bed. Just tell him about my day. I don't know if that's healthy or not but it's what I do. It helps.
Comments (12)
david, i want to say this clearly – talking to your son is not unhealthy. it's not denial and it's not something you need to fix. i've worked with grieving parents for over twenty years and so many of them talk to their children. some out loud, some in their heads, some in letters. it's a way of keeping the relationship alive, not a way of avoiding reality. you know he's gone. you're choosing to stay connected anyway. that takes courage, not correction
thank you helen. i really needed to hear that. i was scared to tell anyone
i talk to my husband too, david. every morning. i tell him about my day, about the garden, about the small things he would have noticed. it doesn't feel strange anymore. it just feels like part of my morning
that's really comforting to know. thank you margaret
david, what you're describing is actually well-supported by modern grief research. it's called a 'continuing bond' and it's considered a healthy and adaptive way of coping. the old idea that you have to fully detach from someone who died in order to heal has been pretty thoroughly challenged. Klass, Silverman, and Nickman wrote a whole book on it. the relationship changes, obviously, but it doesn't have to end
it doesn't have to end. that means a lot. thank you sarah
i'm glad there's research behind this. when i first started talking to him after he passed i thought i was losing it. it's good to know it's actually a thing people do and it's okay
it's very much a thing. and it's cross-cultural too – almost every culture has some form of ongoing communication with the dead, whether through prayer, ritual, or just conversation. western psychology was actually the outlier in insisting on full detachment. the field has caught up now thankfully
that's really good to know. all of this is. thank you everyone
i don't think it's unhealthy at all. i talk to my friend too sometimes. mostly when something happens that he would've found funny. it's the only way i know how to share things with him still
yeah. the funny things are the hardest. he would've laughed at so much
jamie that's lovely. those little moments of sharing – even one-sided – keep the person present in your life in a way that matters. it's not pretending. it's remembering out loud
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Long-term grief, meaning-making, and continuing bonds with those we've lost. Not about 'moving on' – about learning to live alongside loss with honesty and connection.