Said no to overtime for the first time ever
My boss asked me to stay late again and I said 'Sorry, I can't tonight.' That's it. No long explanation, no apology tour. They said OK and moved on. I spiralled for about an hour afterwards wondering if they hate me now. But I did it!
Comments (12)
The spiralling is SO normal. Your brain is just catching up to what your mouth already knew was right. You said no! That's massive!
thank you. it really didn't feel massive at the time it felt terrifying haha
the spiral after setting a boundary is completely normal – your nervous system is catching up to a new behaviour. the fact that you felt uncomfortable doesn't mean you did the wrong thing. it means you did something unfamiliar. massive difference. really proud of you for this one
i relate to this so much. i said no to covering someone's shift last month and then spent the whole evening convinced they hated me. they didn't even care. our brains are wild.
right?? like they probably forgot about it in five minutes and we're still replaying it at 2am
same here honestly. i think most of us have that experience where we agonise over something and the other person barely registers it. says a lot about how much weight we put on things that aren't actually there
the hour of spiralling is basically your brain running through all the worst case scenarios. but think about it – did any of them actually happen? that's the thing about boundary anxiety, it predicts disasters that almost never arrive
no none of them happened. my boss literally just said okay and moved on. i was the only one making it a big deal
Can I just say – the fact that you even noticed you were spiralling is a skill in itself. Most people just get swept up in it without realising.
honestly i only noticed because i've been paying more attention to my patterns lately. this group has helped with that a lot
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Scripts, strategies, and support for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Spotting red flags, asserting needs without aggression, and navigating the guilt that comes with saying no.