I stopped apologising for existing at a restaurant
I know this sounds small but it's huge for me. I was at dinner with friends and my order came out wrong. Old me would have just eaten it silently and felt miserable. But this time I caught the waiter's eye and said, 'Excuse me, I think this might be the wrong dish.' No over-explaining. No 'I'm so sorry to bother you.' Just a clear, calm sentence.
The waiter smiled, swapped it, and life went on. Nobody was annoyed. Nobody thought I was difficult. I've been replaying it in my head all evening because I genuinely cannot believe I did that. Therapy is working, I think.
Comments (10)
This is NOT small! This is massive! Old you would have sat there eating the wrong dish and feeling miserable. New you advocated for yourself calmly and clearly. That's growth right there!
Thank you! I keep re-reading this comment when I feel like I'm not making progress. You're right – old me would never have done that.
i could never do this. i'd eat the wrong dish and leave a five star review. but reading about you doing it gives me a tiny bit of hope.
I laughed at the five star review because SAME, that was me. Honestly, a year ago I would have done exactly that. The fact that you can see yourself in this story means you're already thinking about it differently.
The bit about no over-explaining really resonates with me. I always add so much context when I ask for something – like I need to justify why I deserve to have my own order right. Working on that too. Your approach of just a clear calm sentence is the goal!
Yes! The over-explaining is such a social anxiety thing. My therapist calls it 'pre-empting judgment' – we give all the reasons before anyone even has a chance to react. Just stating the fact felt revolutionary honestly.
'Nobody was annoyed. Nobody thought I was difficult.' – I need this tattooed on my arm. The catastrophising beforehand is always so much worse than reality. Always.
And you said 'therapy is working, I think' – I think so too! These are the real-world moments that show the work is paying off. Keep going!
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